


i saw you staring out of your own abyss again (waiting for something you’re not sure even still exists)

by humanveil



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s09e06 The One with the Male Nanny, F/M, Season/Series 09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:00:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25990207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanveil/pseuds/humanveil
Summary: They’re shutting us down, he’d said. Meaning:I’m coming back.
Relationships: Phoebe Buffay/David
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	i saw you staring out of your own abyss again (waiting for something you’re not sure even still exists)

David’s hand is warm where it touches her waist. He holds it there, hesitant, his fingers shaking with a light tremor: Nerves, Phoebe thinks. Or maybe repressed desire. She knows that’s what she feels, now, standing so close to him.

 _They’re shutting us down,_ he’d said, head bowed, eyes diverted, the word _shutting_ uttered with a stutter. His voice was sad, but it had a ripple of hope underneath. They’re shutting us down, meaning, _I’m coming back._ Back, meaning _home_ , meaning: _to you_. He hadn’t said it, but Phoebe had felt it. Heard it. Seen it in the way he smiled: a small, nervous twitch of the left side of his mouth. It made her heart shatter and mend together all at once. The silent conversation passing between them: _Does that mean—if you wanted—I know you said we wouldn’t—I don’t think we can—I want—I want—I want—_

They’d said their goodbyes, only this time it’d been a _see you later,_ only this time, David hasn’t moved. It’s as if he’s suspended there, stuck, but Phoebe isn’t moving, either. _Can’t._ There is an irresistible pull, she thinks. Has been, since the very first time they’d met. Phoebe can’t explain it: There are no words that encapsulate the way David makes her soul sing, no metaphor or simile or analogy that can capture the way her heart flutters, hope and desire and longing so thick it’s suffocating. She wishes— _wishes_ —things could’ve been easier for them. Kinder. Wishes they could’ve managed the right place and the right time; she’d already told Mike that this wouldn’t happen again, and yet here they are, barely a day later—

David pulls away. Licks at his bottom lip. _Uh,_ he says, _um, well_ …

She kisses him, then: open-mouthed, on the lips, her arms winding around his shoulders and pulling him close. He holds her on instinct, one hand sliding up her back, into her hair, his touch desperate, a breath away from _clinging_ —and _this_ , Phoebe thinks, _this._ Nothing has ever felt like this—will _ever_ feel like this—and she knows, then. Her choice. What she has to do. Who she’s going to pick.

She drops to her couch and David falls with her, a bright-eyed eagerness taking the place of his uncertainty. _Are you sure,_ he asks, mouth still pressed to her skin, and Phoebe nods, her fingers scratching at his nape. Yes, yes, she’s sure. She knows: this is what she wants.

She’ll deal with the rest later.


End file.
